Well fans, it is the home half of the 9th. The sun is shinning and your defending champs, the Puppet Masters, led by Manager, King Douglass, The General Manager Bill Watson and the new ownership, American Water, are all praying that they have lulled you to sleep and that they will be able to rally and pull another game out of the fire.
There is no excuse for you to permit this rally to occur. We realize that you are somewhat hampered by the lack of a shut down closer. No Marianno Rivera here (he's Panamanian). We analyzed the Dominican MLB pitchers and have concluded that there are no shut down closers available. Jose Lima did have "Lima Time" and did have some brief success, but unfortunately he recently died. Joaquín Andújar was briefly successful but was noted for having a hot blooded temper. Uhmmm. Antonio Alfonseca has had sporadic success but has two problems. First he has six fingers and second he tends to give up the long ball in key situations. When we searched for black closers that were short in stature, and financially and intellectually challenged, we struck out there as well. Sorry no Satchel Paige available.
So fans it is up to you. You can cast your vote for the one guy that says he has always been against the water sale, even though City Hall records reflect that he voted for it during the 1st reading of the ordinance (sound like John Kerry in the Swift Boat Ads?). Or, you can vote for the guy who still says he is against the Water sale, despite climbing in bed with Mayor Palmer and his Puppeteer, Bill Watson, who are the prime movers of the Water sale known as "Trenton Yes". WOW what a choice. If we were really at a ball game there would be other alternatives. Streaking across center field and delaying the game. Starting a massive food fight, throwing beach balls on the field, praying for a power outage or an electrical storm. Hoping the game remains tied so long that the old blue laws will kick in and not permit another inning to be started....
In short, if you are an intelligent, morally upright, issue oriented, tax paying, English speaking, well read, literate, law abiding citizen... you are BLEEPED today. The greater question for you is whether you immediately initiate a recall petition or if you bite the bullet, sell your home or business for a loss and move to the suburbs or across the river.
Despite finding yourself in this tenuous position (I refuse to write at Tony Mack's level any longer, he'll have to steal a dictionary), I encourage all of you to contact every friend, neighbor, co-worker etc., to go to the polls and VOTE NO to the water sale. While you are at it, take down a sign or 10 that have been illegally attached to telephone polls, trees and so on, by the American Water, Doug Palmer, Bill Watson contingent.
After all of that activity if you are not nauseous, try to cast an intelligent vote for the Trenton City Council candidates. Remember, whether Trenton gets the well intentioned, Dominican Dandy, or the morally, financially, and criminally challenged mental midget, heretofore and hereafter referred to as "TATTOO", it is the Council that controls the purse strings. Through a well informed and good intentioned council there may yet be a scintilla of hope. One last thought, I (and hopefully you) do not support Black Panthers, promoting a violent and separatist philosophy. Beyond that, I wish you well with your selections.
Recalls and referendums are a form of protest, and civil disobedience that have been preserved for an electorate that is dissatisfied with their representatives. Remain engaged and demand results from whoever is elected. A well informed voter can not be disenfranchised. Exercise your rights and let your voice be heard!